As usual I gotta say that this is my own personal journey into the Ice.
The things I do whether right or wrong is Just my story of what's happening with me and a need to be as honest as possible about it. Good,bad or indifferent.
It's Sunday and I've lost my shore person that helps me ( husband) so I've got a different helper today. Jan the angelic dresser has agreed to come help me. It's wierd not having Phil here today but needs must and I know I'm well looked after with Jan and Sian here.
I've packed the gear and made my flask and hot Water bottles up and chucked them in the van with a million layers! I've bought rope and a bouy to mark out a 26 metre course to see if it changes thing's for me.
I get to the pond and the ladies haven't arrived yet so I put the thermometer in the water and get the bouy out the van ready.
The temperature is 4.4 degrees, perfect! What isn't so perfect is that sodding lazy wind!
Sian and Jan arrive and we set about dumping the bouy into the Water at the right point to mark course. I'm also going through my recovery process with Jan so she knows where everything is and what's likely to happen.
No messing today I can feel that determination coming through, the talk with Maddie helped after last week.
Jan is stood at one end of the bouy and sian at the other other.
As I get in Sian is saying " swim to the bouy and I'll start the stop clock from the moment you start swimming from there and we'll count every lap from then" I nod and say " see you on the flip side" she repeats it back and that's it I'm off!
As I turn for my first lap I hear Sian shout 1! " LET'S DO THIS I think.
I'm trying to count the laps with them but my mind wanders and I can't seem to count ( yes I know can't anyway). I start singing " happy" in my head over and over till I get to that trigger point again (where I " think" I need to get out but i don't), I can feel it but it can do one cos I ain't giving it the time of day . I've actually visualised in my head telling it to f off . I've broken passed it! Yay! I'm swimming strong but can feel that I've slowed down some but plough on. Every other turn i look up and see that Sian is either doing a Mexican wave , shouting some obsenity at me or calling out my laps so I know where I am. It makes me giggle and stops me thinking I'm cold.
My hands have gone completely numb now but they don't even hurt anymore they just feel like hard blocks of Ice that I can't move. I can feel the cold seeping into my wrists and it feels like a rope has been tied around them and it's getting tighter and tighter, I ignore it but that Icy wind is picking the water up from the pond and is chucking it about so I'm getting a bit of water intake between breath's. I plough on.
I've got 2 more laps to do and I'm feeling stronger than I thought I would at this point but I say I think I'm getting out to which sian shout's "no you're fucking not you've got 2 laps left you better swim now!" I just look at her and grumble obsenities at her but I swim the last 2 laps hearing Jan shout "come on trace!". I'm fine, I don't know why I said I was getting out! I swim to the edge and Jan has me wrapped in my dry robe immediately and walking me back to the van to dry and dress.
Jan doesn't give me the option of dressing myself, she's there with me helping me get my clothes on as my hands have clawed and I can't move my fingers yet. All the time she's talking to me how well I've done and she's so proud of me. Sometimes you don't really realise how much you need to hear that till it's said, thanks Jan.
I'm dressed and trying to drink hot chocolate 😂 I'm well into my shaking and shivering and my usual recovery of wanting to move about a bit when Sian pops her head into van and says " all completely normal" and laughs uproariously! My recovery is short but I still have a little shivery moments when we go to the local for coffee after.
I can't stop smiling. I'm litteraly grinning from ear to ear! I get home and I'm still grinning.
I now know that it's GAME ON !
So what have I changed? The amount of times I swim. I think I was doing too much and knackering myself out.
What have I learned?
Don't be so hard on myself and believe in myself . PMA!
I think too much,I Gotta stop thinking!
What did Jan learn?
That I'm certifiable! Without a doubt!
Sian knows this already!
See you on the flipside!